Time of Pranks
by Above the Winter Moonlight
Summary: A series of humorous oneshots. The war is still going on but boredom reigns supreme during the times when Camp Half-Blood and Mount Olympus have nothing to do. Pranks, jokes, lightning storms, tsunamis, coffee, candy and more... ON HOLD
1. The Oblivious God

**Time of Pranks**

* * *

**Summary: **A series of humorous one-shots, the war is still going on but boredom reigns supreme during the times when Camp Half-Blood and Mount Olympus have nothing to do. Pranks, jokes, lightning storms, tsunamis, coffee, candy and more...

**Setting: **From pre-TLT to post-TLO

**Genre: **humor/parody

**Author's Note: **I just had to type this up. I read a _Star Wars_ version of this and I had to come up with a PJO version. So this is the first chapter and yes I know that it is short, I'll try to make the next one longer. Reviews are most appreciated and I hope you enjoy the first chapter, which takes place prior to TLT. Some of the chapters are pranks while others are how I see certain events in the books should, or might have, happened.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**The Oblivious God**

* * *

Mount Olympus was unusually silent as the Gods were bored out of their minds with nothing to do. Poseidon and Hermes were talking while Ares was patrolling Mount Olympus on his motorcycle, more because he was bored than there being any real danger. Hera and Zeus were off somewhere and Poseidon didn't know where they were.

"Hey, does anyone know where Zeus and Hera are?" Poseidon asked glancing at Aphrodite who was standing nearby, examining herself in a mirror.

"No," she replied before she pointed to Zeus's throne. "But he must be nearby because he left his master bolt here."

Poseidon looked at the master bolt with narrowed sea green eyes before he glanced at Hermes, who had a slight mischievous gleam in his eyes. "What are you thinking of doing, Hermes?" he asked.

"Nothing," Hermes said innocently though the grin that plastered his face told his brothers, sisters, and uncle otherwise.

Aphrodite sighed. "The last time he got that look on his face, all of Manhattan was flooded," she said.

"I didn't know the Trident would do that," Hermes protested.

"That's why you don't touch my stuff," Poseidon retorted narrowing his eyes.

"But I was bored," Hermes whined.

"Stop that, it's not becoming of a God to whine," Hestia snapped walking over to join them.

"Oh who are you to talk?" Hermes retorted.

"Are you bothering Hestia again, Hermes?" Artemis asked walking up to join them.

"No."

"I'm sure."

Letting out a long sigh, Poseidon glanced at his nephew. "I'm going out to try and find Zeus, don't do anything stupid while I'm away," he said before he pulled out his trident and walked off.

"Yes, listen to your uncle," Artemis agreed before she walked off to find the Hunters.

Aphrodite was busy fixing her hair and makeup and Ares was still no where to be seen since he left to patrol Mount Olympus. Hestia was back outside of the throne room on Mount Olympus and Hermes was left alone, except for the oblivious Aphrodite.

"I'm going to go out," Aphrodite said before she walked off, officially leaving Hermes alone. Grinning, he walked up to Zeus's throne before picking up his master bolt and walking away, still grinning from ear to ear.

* * *

"WHERE THE HELL IS MY MASTER BOLT?" Zeus's screech of fury caused all of Mount Olympus, and New York City, to shake from the sound of it.

Poseidon, who was standing beside his brother, prudently took a step back to avoid his brother's wrath. Artemis, Hestia, Aphrodite, Ares, and Hera walked into the throne room though they stayed as far from the angry Zeus as they possibly could.

"Wasn't it where you left it?" Hestia asked a bit hesitantly.

"It's not there anymore, can't you see that?" Zeus snapped angrily.

"Where's Hermes?" Poseidon asked suddenly gazing around as he attempted to locate his nephew.

"I thought you were watching him," Artemis said looking at Hestia.

"I thought Aphrodite was," the Goddess of the Hearth protested and everyone in the throne room looked at Aphrodite who was fixing her makeup for the millionth time that day.

"I only went out for a little bit," the Goddess of Beauty protested.

Poseidon groaned. "You should know never to leave Hermes alone with something valuable within his reach," he protested. "The last time you left him alone, all of Manhattan was flooded."

As if on cue, a loud thunderclap sounded and bolts of lightning began to shoot across the sky. Dark clouds crawled into the sky above and Zeus roared in anger. "When I find Hermes, I'm going to hurt him so bad, he won't be able to move for a week," he screeched before he stalked off, muttering under his breath.

"I suggest you find him first," Hera whispered before she hurried after Zeus.

"Good idea," Poseidon agreed. "But I'm not looking for it when you were the ones that let Hermes out of your sight."

As if on cue, Hermes walked into the throne room and everyone glared at him. "What?" he asked innocently.

"Where's Zeus's Master Bolt?" Poseidon asked.

"Well, ah, funny story actually," Hermes said.

"WHERE IS MY MASTER BOLT?" Zeus screeched stalking into the throne room at that moment as though sensing Hermes was back. Hermes shrank away from the King of Gods anger.

"I don't know," he protested.

"You don't know?!" Artemis exclaimed.

"Yeah, I don't know. I just went to Dairy Queen to get some ice cream and the next thing I knew it was gone."

"Why the hell did you take my bolt to Dairy Queen?"

At that moment, Hades stalked into the throne room. "I don't care if I'm not allowed to be here, I want my Helm of Darkness back," he said angrily.

Zeus glanced at his brother before everyone turned their gazes to Hermes. Hermes flushed. "Funny story," he said.

"Do tell," Poseidon said.

"Well, ah, after I went off with the Master Bolt, I went to the underworld. While Hades was speaking with Persephone, I saw the Helm of Darkness and I decided it would be funny to see how Hades would react if I took it. So I ran off with it and went to Dairy Queen. I placed them both down for a split second and the next thing I knew, they were gone," Hermes said.

"I have yet to hear the funny part," Zeus said, his voice threatening.

"I'm telling ya, I don't know where it is. It's as if it disappeared into thin air. I bet you aliens took it," Hermes said.

"That's the lamest excuse you've come up with since you told us Bigfoot took Poseidon's trident," Artemis scoffed.

"But that did happen," Hermes protested but everyone in the throne room just scoffed and rolled their eyes.

"I WANT MY MASTER BOLT BACK NOW!" Zeus roared.

"I WANT MY HELM OF DARKNESS BACK NOW!" Hades yelled at the exact same time.

"Did you not see who took it?" Poseidon asked.

Hermes blushed. "No," he admitted. "I was too busy enjoying my ice cream."

Zeus and Hades looked about ready to explode from rage and Hermes, wisely, turned around and took off running.

For the rest of the day, Hermes found himself running from an angry Zeus and an angry Hades all throughout the streets of Mount Olympus.

And that was how the Master Bolt and the Helm of Darkness really got stolen.

* * *

**A/n what do you think?**

**Blaze: ha, I liked that**

**Darth: so did I**

**Blaze: so please review and I'll post the second one as soon as I get some feedback on the first chapter. **

**Darth: and?**

**Blaze: Sorry if it wasn't that funny, I'll try to make the next one more funny.**


	2. Misplaced Backbiter?

****

Blaze: here's the next one and this one is short

**Darth: it is**

**Blaze: yup**

**Darth: oh okay**

**Blaze: it takes place during the last battle in TLO**

**Darth: oh okay**

**Blaze: yeah, here's chapter two and I hope that you like it**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**Misplaced Backbiter?**

* * *

The battle was beginning to turn in their favor and Kronos smiled slightly as he walked among his many troops. The weakling Luke Castallen that he had possessed was a good person to use but Kronos was looking forward to when he would gain enough power to get rid of this weakling.

Luke was still in the back of his mind, of course even as powerful as Kronos was, he couldn't banish Luke completely. _The sooner I destroy the damn Gods the happier I'll feel,_ Luke/Kronos thought.

"Attack!" Kronos shouted before reaching for his backbiter and he frowned when he realized it wasn't in its' scabbard.

"All right, freeze, who the hell took my backbiter?" Kronos demanded glaring at his minions.

"What do you mean sir?" asked one of his minions.

"I mean my backbiter is missing, which one of you took it?" Kronos demanded angrily. In the back of his mind, Luke was laughing and he scowled angrily at the spirit that was still in his mind before pushing the laughing away.

"Perhaps you misplaced it," a minion suggested.

Poor minion didn't stay alive for another second.

"Now tell me who the hell took my backbiter before I lay waste to every pathetic minion here," Kronos snarled in fury.

The other minions were all thinking the same thing. _He must have misplaced it._ But they were reluctant to speak out after witnessing what happened to the poor minion who pointed it out first.

"WHO TOOK IT?"

"Um, sir, I see something glittering silver in the topmost floor of this building," a minion said pointing to the top of a really tall building, though not as tall as the Empire State Building.

"Is that it?" Another minion asked.

"Go and see," Kronos ordered and the minion nodded before making his way up the building. Of course he was clumsy and he fell down, crashing into the floor on top of three of his fellow comrades and Kronos scowled.

_Idiots, I'm surrounded by idiots, _he told himself silently as many other minions went to get his backbiter but fell off of the building somehow and Kronos stalked to the building before frowning when he realized the entire building was covered in slime.

"You imbeciles! How could you not notice this?" He screeched in fury pointing to the slime.

"Um, we, uh, didn't see it?" a minion suggested.

Poor minion found himself in the underworld not even a few seconds later.

"You idiots, I really should blast you all into oblivion if it wasn't for the fact that I don't have my full strength yet," Kronos snarled before he killed three more minions and gazed up at where his backbiter was lying at the top of the really tall building.

* * *

Meanwhile, Hermes grinned from where he was watching what had occurred with his two children, Conner and Travis Stoll, at his side. "It worked out too well," he said glancing at his children.

Conner smiled. "Nice touch with the slime," he said to his brother.

Travis grinned. "I rather liked that. Nice sticking the backbiter in the tallest window on that building," he said.

Hermes laughed as he leaned back. "Ah that was good," he said.

"HERMES!" Zeus's yell sounded like thunder across the sky and Hermes glanced up.

"Well, I'd better get back to bashing up the bad guys, see you two later," he said and Conner and Travis averted their gaze as Hermes took his true form and disappeared.

All the while, you could hear Kronos's snarls of fury as he continued to kill any minion that got to close to him.

Poor minions.

* * *

**A/n what do you think?**

**Blaze: I told you it was short**

**Darth: and?**

**Blaze: and many of this oneshots are going to be AU and they are out of chronological order**

**Darth: we can see that, the first was before TLT and now this one is during TLO**

**Blaze: yup**

**Percy: that was funny, nice job Conner**

**Conner: believe me, Travis had all the fun, putting the slime on the building**

**Percy: how did you manage that?**

**Travis: (grins) let's just say I had a little help**

**Percy: (laughs)**

**Blaze: (laughs) please review and I'll post the next one as soon as I possibly can and I am accepting requests. It can be any time period from before TLT to after TLO so please put your requests in your reviews and I'll try to get to them when I have the chance.**


	3. Hearing the Narrator

**Blaze: sorry if the last one wasn't all that funny**

**Darth: I liked it**

**Percy: so did I**

**Travis: me too**

**Conner: me three**

**Kronbread: I didn't**

**Blaze: (pulls out lightsaber)**

**Percy: (pulls out trident he stole from his dad)**

**Travis: (pulls out bronze sword)**

**Conner: (pulls out bronze sword)**

**Kronbread: I'm going to run now! (Takes off running)**

**Blaze: (laughs) here's chapter 3, I hope you like it and sorry if it isn't that funny**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 3**

**Hearing the Narrator**

**

* * *

**

When Percy decided it would be best to travel through the Labyrinth to find a way to stop Kronos and, in order to do so, they had to find Daedalus's Workshop and get Ariadne's string before Luke did. Luke, god damn traitor that he is, Percy wished he could throw a bucket of Pepsi on his head. Maybe then Luke would come to his senses.

With him came Annabeth, who was leading the mission, Tyson and Grover.

And they were hopelessly lost.

"Great, just freaking great. I thought you spent days studying the labyrinth and yet now we're lost Gods know where," Grover complained.

Annabeth glared daggers at Grover and he prudently took a step back. "I know where I'm going," she snapped before gazing at the three hallways that lay in front of her. "I think we go this way," she pointed to the hallway right of her.

"You think?" Percy echoed.

"Shut up!"

"What did I do? I was just saying?"

"If you don't shut up, seaweed brain, I'm going to send you back the way you came."

"But I won't be able to find my way out again."

Annabeth scowled in anger before slamming her head against a nearby stone wall.

"Don't do that, you give yourself headache," Tyson protested.

Annabeth glared daggers at him and Tyson prudently took a step back.

"Don't get mad at him, he was just pointing out the truth," Percy said.

"Shut _up_ and let me think."

"Oh know, she's thinking, run!"

"I swear to the Gods above, Seaweed brain, if you don't shut up, I am going to leave you here."

"Yeah, sure, whatever you say."

Annabeth glowered angrily before she gazed at the three hallways again. "This way," she said before heading down the right tunnel. Grover followed her and Tyson went next while Percy brought up the rear of the group.

"I hope you're right about this," Grover said. "We don't want you getting lost again like you did when we were trying to find the entrance to the Underworld."

"That wasn't my fault," Annabeth protested with a pointed glare at Percy who whistled innocently.

"Man, I wish I had taken Ares's motorcycle. If I did then we could have been at Daedulas's workshop by now," Grover muttered.

"Ares would smite you on the spot," Percy pointed out.

"Smite bad," Tyson said shuddering.

"Don't worry big guy, no one's getting smited here," Percy said to his half-brother.

"Well, if you three don't shut up then there just might be some smiting," Annabeth snapped before she turned around and walked straight into the wall of the Labyrinth.

"Annabeth, there's a wall there," Percy called.

"No you think, seaweed brain," Annabeth retorted before she walked away from the wall and started walking again.

"Wall bad," Tyson said glaring at the wall.

"Not really, Annabeth's near sightedness is what's bad," Grover said.

"SHUT UP!" Annabeth yelled at the three of them, causing her voice to echo all throughout the Labyrinth.

"Great, if Luke didn't already know we were here then that would have alerted him," Percy muttered.

"It was your fault."

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Okay, okay, let's stop arguing, we need to find Daedulas's workshop before Luke does," Grover pointed out, interrupting the glaring match Percy and Annabeth were having. To think in the next book, they would be kissing beneath the lake beside Camp Half-Blood.

Oops, I wasn't supposed to say that.

Never mind what I just said.

I'm serious, ignore that last sentence.

What do you mean by I'm interrupting a story that isn't my own? This is my story!

Yes, I can narrate this story if I want to.

No, they can't hear me…I think.

Well, if they can hear me, I'm off to bother Luke.

Percy gazed at the spot where the voice was coming from. "Did you hear that?" he asked.

"You're hallucinating, seaweed brain, 'cause none of us heard anything," Annabeth scoffed rolling her eyes.

Tyson narrowed his eyes. "I heard something," he protested.

"Great, both seaweed brains heard something. It must be in Poseidon's line to have children that hallucinate."

"Hallucinating is bad in this type of place," Grover said.

"We're not hallucinating. I swear, we really did hear a voice," Percy protested.

"I'm sure."

"We're serious."

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "Idiots," she muttered before leading the way down the hallway.

* * *

Meanwhile, Luke was also making his way down the hallway when he paused. "What the hell? Why is someone narrating everything I do?" he complained.

And then he looked around and around and around for the source of the voice but he couldn't find it.

And he still looked.

And looked.

Great, he's hallucinating too so it mustn't only be in the line of Poseidon.

"Okay, why did I just hear someone say I'm hallucinating and then compared me to the line of Poseidon?" Luke complained.

Hahahaha, you gotta love torturing the bad guys.

"I'm not a bad guy!"

Especially when they don't know, or don't want to consider themselves, the bad guy.

"I'M NOT THE BAD GUY!" Luke's voice echoed

"Great," Ethan muttered from where he was standing beside Luke. "If the others didn't know we were here then they do now."

"Can you hear this voice?" Luke asked.

"You're hearing things, Luke."

Hahahaha, Luke's hearing things, Luke's hearing things.

"SHUT UP, I AM NOT HEARING THINGS!"

"If you don't stop yelling then Daedulas is going to know we're coming," Ethan complained.

Luke scowled at him before glaring at the ceiling and muttering a series of curses under his breath.

Ah you gotta love annoying people.

* * *

**A/n what do you think?**

**Blaze: yes, I am the narrator**

**Darth: this was really weird**

**Blaze: not really, all it is, is the characters can hear what the narrator is saying about them**

**Darth: it is kinda funny**

**Blaze: yeah, that's why I put it, I'm still excepting ideas but I won't post chapter 4 until I get an idea, it can be anywhere from before TLT to after TLO, just a reminder**

**Darth: yeah, what she said**

**Percy: where you the one that was talking with me and Tyson?**

**Luke: and me?**

**Blaze: (widens eyes innocently) noooooooooo**

**Luke: surrrrrrrreeee**

**Percy: TRAITOR! (Pulls out bronze sword)**

**Luke: hey, wait, I'm not Kronos yet**

**Kronos: yeah**

**Percy: IDIOT! (Chases after Kronos with bronze sword)**

**Anakin: okay**

**Blaze: (leaps at Anakin) wrong story but I don't care (hugs Anakin)**

**Luke: I don't wanna know (walks off to Starbucks)**

**Blaze: (laughs) please review and I'll post chapter 4 as soon as I get an idea on what to do for that chapter.**


End file.
